Hello bloggers.
Who else up yearning? Well, not really, cause I'm not yearning over anyone at the moment. But yearning and mourning all that has passed and all that is to come. Everything that I've endured and everything that could be. Those that have crossed my path and those that have joined the path. I'm not even making sense at this point. Trying to be all philosophical and shit. Like bro u not Shakespear.
Just got reminded of the Paul Mescal Met Gala incident. You know what I'm talking about. Except I wasn't even reminded cause I never forgot. I see it on my fyp nearly daily at this point. It's been what, 2 years? More than that? IDEK at this point. I'm losing it for real. Having no huzz really gets to you.
Currently in my room with the door shut, listening to Goonma sing in the shower. It's like a free concert. She hit all those riffs and vobratos or whatever. Her shower music taste immensley changes on the daily. A couple days ago, it was house music. Thought we were in the club. Today we hear Sza. Except now I'm hearing Sway by Tyla. Okay girl, I know you dancing in there. Anyway, enough of this talk.
I'm so exhausted. Cabo in one week is the only thing getting me through. But I'm also stressed about that. I'm not prepped, and idk if my clothes will come in on time. Need a haircut as well. Might just DIY it at this point. LMK if that's a bad idea. I did it last semester, so it shouldn't be too bad. Also, LMK if I should dye all my hair really dark brown before I go. It's like 5 different shades rn. I need to stop dying it on a whim. I bleached it once when I was 15, and I still don't think it has fully recovered. Dialing back, I'm in a constant state of exhaustion no matter how long I sleep. My body also doesn't allow me to get over around 6 hours of sleep tho, so I have been severely sleep deprived for the past 8ish years. No sleep. Bus. Club.
I'm PISSED about unofficial. I just want to borg with my baddies. Instead, I have to go to work and serve all the rich old people. The public needs me though, and I must not let them down. I am thinking of calling off though, but idk if I should call off Friday or Saturday. I had big plans for both. Adulting is so hard. I do not miss being unemployed, but can a girl have some fun around here?
I also have no gas in my car and keep forgetting to refill it during the day. I have an extreme fear of getting gas by myself at night, so I refuse to do that. My tank is so low that it stopped showing me the remaining miles left 3 days ago. I'm getting a bit worried. Will I even make it to the gas station at this point? It's a gamble. We will have to wait and see.
Okay, I'm done complaining. I'm just being annoying ASF at this point, and it needs to stop. Was that another complaint? IDEK. Time to LOCK IN! Need to manifest and say my daily affirmations:
I am so hot and sexy
everybody loves me
no one is mad at me
I have seven billion dollars in my bank account
everyone wants to give me a $100 cash tip
I have excellent grades
I will not consume jager this weekend
I do not have any assignments due at midnight
I have clear skin and beautiful hair
my opps fear me
It's almost fuck with me Friday. Are y'all fuckin with me?
Alright, goodnight blog. I will speak with you soon. Keep me in your thoughts because it is think of me Thursday. TTYL!
Sydney, this post really resonated with me. you have such a way with words. tomorrow. I will be fuckin with you. See you next blog, but not before then.
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